18 June 2013

LABOURING UNDER A DELUSION?

The controversial Guido Fawkes political website seems to be trying to take over from Magonia as the leading UFO blog. After revealing the Sun's apology to aliens it now alerts us to a politically sensitive alien adultery story. Even the rumours about astounding goings-on between consenting adults at Number 10 could not prepare us for this:
🔻
"Labour’s Simon Parkes, beamed down from the mothership to his seat on Whitby Town Council when he’s not on a different planet, has confessed he has a secret lovechild named Zarka after an extra-terrestrial tryst with an alien he calls the Cat Queen. His wife isn’t pleased now the truth is out there:
“My wife found out about it and was very unhappy, clearly. That caused a few problems, but it is not on a human level, so I don’t see it as wrong.”
"Probed further, Parkes says his real mother is a 9ft alien with green fingers:
“Two green stick things came in. I was aware of some movement over my head. I thought, ‘they’re not mummy’s hands, mummy’s hands are pink’. I was looking straight into its face. It enters my mind through my eyes and it sends a message down my optic nerve into my brain. It says ‘I am your real mother, I am your more important mother’.”
Read more on Guido's site: http://order-order.com/2013/06/18/labour-politician-admits-fathering-lovechild-with-alien/ along with Simon's sketch of 'mummy'. At least as a local councillor and not an MP, he's unable to claim a second-home allowance for whatever planet the Cat Queen comes from.

Readers may remember that the Lib-Dems got involved in this sort of thing some years ago, when Winchester councillor Adrian Hicks posted a speech on the Internet claiming that aliens were walking the streets of the cathedral city. I don't know if the Conservatives are going to join in, but of course many people already claim that the Tory MP for Wokingham is an alien himself, and last year Wokingham was put on the alert for an invasion by his fellow extraterrestrials:
 http://www.getreading.co.uk/news/local-news/aliens-likely-invade-bracknell-wokingham-4198536.

The invasion seems to have been foiled, or at least postponed, probably due to the presence of our ultra-sceptical Editor Emeritus John Harney in neighbouring Bracknell.

UPDATE: Simon Parkes and three other claimed abductees have appeared in a Channel 4 'documentary'. Sceptic and one-time Magonia contributor, Dr Chris French was not impressed by the programme:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2013/jun/18/confessions-alien-abductee-channel-4?INTCMP=SRCH

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

What is it with Lib Dems? Lembit Opik is speaking at this years ASSAP conference on UFOs (not someone know for his extensive research on the subject!!)

David

Marion Lily said...

He seems to be suffering from delusions of grandeur. He is in serious fantasy land. He said his mother and grandfather worked for MI5 (hmmm)...perhaps this is a neglected child with an emotional neediness that his very creative and intelligent mind manufactured this fantasy world to feel appreciated and hence the overcompensation of being important to aliens? One would have to ask a psychiatrist about delusions.